sup
Featured Topics
-
How did you find your way here?
by Genesect
posted -
Welcome! Check here for rules and info!
by Genesect
posted -
BrowseDNS - Enable Access to the Open Internet
by VGMoose
posted -
Ways to Browse the Internet on Various Devices
by VGMoose
posted -
Homebrewing Your Wii U - How? Why?
by NoahAbc12345
posted -
A List of Wii U Development Resources
by quarky
posted
-
-
-
-
-
-
The minister and his wife place an ad for a butler. Early the next morning a nicely dressed young man appears at their front door. The minister asks him, "Can you fix breakfast by 7:00 a.m. every day?"
"Well ... I guess I can."
"And can you make the beds, dust the living room, do the dishes, cut the grass, and polish the silver also?"
"Gee, Sir, I just came by to see about getting married. But if it's going to be that much work, you can count me out!"Butler
#jokeRead more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net
Via: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/joke-The-minister-and-his-wife-plac/2022021622
-
Today, I received an e-mail from a place I'd interviewed at, telling me they wonât be offering me the position. They came across an old Twitter account of mine, where I posted X-Rated content and sometimes stereotypical and dark humor. I donât even remember the e-mail and password so that I can deactivate it. FML
Via:
https://www.fmylife.com/article/ten-arguments-for-deleting-your-social-media-accounts_374827.html -
Today, I was told how cruel and selfish I am for rubbing my weight loss in my momâs face. Iâve literally begged my mom to walk, jog, workout with me for months. She went exactly once. She complained the whole time, then called me a b***h for finishing my run while she sat in the car. FML
-
Today, my son apparently has no interest in having a life. He goes from his tiny one-bed flat to work, then back home again to play with his computer. Itâs a good job, so he can afford a life, but he has no friends, never dates or goes anywhere, he even gets his shopping delivered. What can I do? FML
Via:
https://www.fmylife.com/article/sounds-like-he-s-got-it-all-figured-out_373261.html -
Today, rather than age gracefully my parents have decided theyâre going to be the witch and wizard of our neighbourhood, meaning they grow herbs, redecorated the house atrociously, swapped their clothes for dresses and robes, and smoke questionable tobacco in wooden pipes. God theyâre so embarrassing. FML
Via:
https://www.fmylife.com/article/hippies-for-life_374177.html -
Today, my mother-in-law tried to prove I was lying about my seafood allergy by adding minced prawns to the tomato sauce. In the last 24 hours, I have vomited and s**t so much, plus the lost water weight from the sweating, Iâve lost almost 9lbs in body weight. FML
Via:
https://www.fmylife.com/article/poisoning-attempt_374179.html -
Today, I confronted my dad about his horrible attitude toward women. I pointed out that a man with as many sisters and daughters as he has, shouldnât refer to women whoâve had children as âdamaged goodsâ. He laughed and said, âAh well, once itâs been blown out, itâs no good to anyone.â Thanks dad. FML
Via:
https://www.fmylife.com/article/bad-women-s-anatomy_374183.html -
Today, it was mine and my girlfriend's two-year anniversary. Back in my room, I decided to get sexy for her by opening the bathroom door, dropping my bath towel, and slowly approaching the bed in the buff. I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face twice while doing so, which she hysterically laughed at. FML
Via:
https://www.fmylife.com/article/mood-ruined_374203.html -
Today, a friend moved into my new house. He was a great roommate years ago, but COVID seems to have driven him mad. He brought a huge stockpile of non-perishable food, and keeps talking about "fortifying" the house. He's trying to build a composting outhouse right now. Send help. FML
Via:
https://www.fmylife.com/article/survivalist_374821.html -
Today, after I'd got into a steady routine for months, the new manager waltzed into the store out of the blue and began changing every single rule. I had a panic attack and cried, for which she promptly fired me for âacting like a baby.â Iâm autistic and I donât do well with sudden changes. FML
Via:
https://www.fmylife.com/article/freaked-out_372344.html -
Today, I have always been adamant on not wanting children ever, then I did a stupid thing, and now Iâm now single and pregnant with twins at 22 years-old. My life is so f*****g over. FML
Via:
https://www.fmylife.com/article/adopt-a-different-attitude_372247.html -
Today, I dislocated my big toe doing a stupid stunt to impress a woman, who turned out to be married anyway. The toe wonât go back in, so the doctor thinks it might need a surgical fix. I donât have insurance so this is going to be f*****g expensive. FML
Via:
https://www.fmylife.com/article/doofus-move_372673.html